I’m a very analytical person. Which pretty much means my mind won’t stop over thinking all the time. I joke that I’m morbid because I come up with the worst case scenarios for every situation. Panic attack before vacation? Of course! Thankfully, I’m too restless to live in a bubble (besides, bad things can happen if you do that — I’ve thought about it).
But some days are worse than others. If I’m relaxed, the over thinking lets up a ton. But when I’m stressed or sleep deprived, it gets pretty bad. This week I’m both. Between having too much to do at work and my lovely friend pms, I’m shot. I got to the point today at work where I just shut down.
I NEED A VACATION!!!
My big question tonight for over thinking? What if I’m not doing enough with my life? Am I a failure because I’m 30 years old and have done nothing significant? Day in, day out work is not meaningful for me. So it’s not that satisfying. I’m not saving money by any means. I’m not broke, but I’m not far from it though. I need ideas on how to change this.
I mean, I did basically have to start from scratch a few years ago, but I’m impatient! I know I lost my ability to verbally commit to anything, and that’s part of the problem. Stupid what-ifs.
Thankfully, writing out my rambling brain helps it calm down, so maybe I can sleep now.